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Thursday, July 21, 2011

The Honest Truth - a Dream Fulfilled

I once wrote a post called The Honest Truth - an Unfulfilled Dream.  In that post I poured out my heart about this one thing that I hadn't really realized was something I wanted until it was too late.  That post was written in March... and even now - a mere 4 months later - I can see those dreams become memories, not longings.

In the same respect, I am happier. Have you ever seen the scene in Shrek about how Ogres have layers?

Well... apparently so do I.  These layers of happiness.  Just as I think I've found this amazing point in life where I can be happy and content, something new happens.  It peels back another layer in that big onion of happiness.  It exposes a dream that I had hidden... for fear it would never come true.

I know I've alluded to it before, but last summer was so difficult.  I have this vivid memory.  We are all home.  We are in the back yard and I am holding Alexander.  He needed me.  The twins are playing with Ray and I just sat there like a zombie.  Crying, staring, trying for all that it is worth to figure out what in the heck we were going to do.  I remember going in and calling the doctor and telling him I wasn't coping very well.  I remember the nurse asking me if I had to go to the hospital.  (It seriously took me a few minutes to figure out what she was talking about) - and then I started to laugh / cry.  I said no! I don't need to be locked up. I'm just really ... sad. is this normal?  I'm a laugher (in fact, I'm laughing as I write this memory) ... and I can't laugh.  The doctor got on the phone and assured me it was normal. But... I still wasn't me.  I still didn't know how in the world we were going to continue on.....

skinny me... just kidding.. not me
Fast forward to this week.  We are on vacation.  Another layer has been peeled back.  Happiness is exposed. A dream I didn't even know existed.  A fear I didn't realize I had.  That we would never have a vacation again.  And yet here we are.... on vacation...together.  A dream fulfilled.  

I have this amazing pride for my family.  We've done it.  Yes, it has been so much easier going with another family.  They have older children, they love my children, and they are able to pick up those times when my kids need attention and we are preoccupied.  But, we could do it alone.  We could do it alone.

Vacations are not a thing of the past.  A Dream Fulfilled....

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1 Comments:

At July 21, 2011 at 5:38 PM , Blogger Shannon said...

This made me smile! A happy teary eyed smile!!! :) Have a fabulous vacation!!! :)

 

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