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Life Lesson #4: Special Circumstances doesn't mean Morally Right.

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Thursday, April 21, 2011

Life Lesson #4: Special Circumstances doesn't mean Morally Right.

I have always been an opinionated person.  Just ask anyone.  So this last life lesson is one that I want to write honestly so everyone can see that I am not suddenly judge, jury, and executioner.  The fact is… I do not stand from my perch of “Special Needs” and sit in judgment of all others that pass before me.  Having an opinion does not mean it is correct.  Please hear this – Special Circumstances is not the ultimate Trump Card. 

Yesterday, I lied.  Yes… I did, and it was wrong.  I received a “bill” to authorize the request for payment for one of our many medical treatments in the past month.  I received a paper I needed to sign; I signed the paper, and forgot to put it in the mail the very next day.  (Literally… the very next day.)  Later that evening, I received a phone call from people at that organization.  (Again, this was one day after receiving the “bill.”)  They asked if it was mailed and I replied that it would go with tomorrow’s mail.  The man on the phone then asked me if I had access to a fax machine and could I fax it.  This was the straw that broke me.  I could not believe that they wanted a paper so badly they would give me a one-day turnaround before asking for a fax.  I was morally angered.  They were wrong! I said, “No, I do not.  I’m in a hospital with my son.”  This was a lie.  We were in the hospital the day before and the day after… but at that moment I just needed peace and my lie felt justified because… “How dare him?” 

That was wrong.  My special circumstances should not have been used as a weapon to make someone else feel embarrassed.  Just because I had an opinion on something, doesn’t necessarily mean I’m right.  More importantly, I shouldn’t have used Alexander as the fist if I wanted that guy to be my punching bag. 

Have always had opinions about things.  My opinions change; I change.  I am not always right.  I am not above reproach.  I do not have the “ultimate perspective.”  I do have a unique perspective, but just because I see things from a different side of the fence, doesn’t make it the only side.  Life lesson – those who sit in judgment are only asking to be judged themselves.

This ends my life lessons from Yesterday.  I am really interested in what life lessons you have learned.  You can write a lot or as much as a sentence – I just want to hear them.
Just a little something to make everyone smile at the end of the day.

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At April 21, 2011 at 3:41 PM , Blogger GingerGirl said...

My life lesson was so incredible painful. I used to be fiercely opinionated. I was so certain that things were a certain way and that there were "absolutes" in little gray. As I mentioned in my comment on your previous post, I had an aunt who was murdered. I went to the trial. I was determined that he would pay for his crime. Seven years later my uncle (my aunt's brother) murdered someone. I went to the trial. I was hopeful that mercy would be shown in light of his brain damage. My views on criminals and the death penalty were turned upside down. I learned what both sides of that coin looked like. I was humbled. I *like* to think that I am less judgmental now...less "certain" that things are so black and white, so perfectly right and wrong.


At April 21, 2011 at 8:48 PM , Blogger Kristen said...

Terri -
First - I really appreciate your comments on the posts. I look forward to seeing what input you can add to my thoughts. In the past, I have been known for being able to see the world in shades of grey and arguing for or against both sides of a point (it is good in my line of work) ... but, now I find myself having these gut punch reactions to things... I think your greyness allows for the perfect thing - compassion!

At April 21, 2011 at 10:14 PM , Blogger Mihaela said...

I have learned that people have to be in exact same shoes as mine so they can understand what our journey is and what we're going through. I've learned not to expect from people to understand me completely. I've learned to shrug and move on. I've learned that if I manage to enjoy today, even if it sometimes mean to trick myself, tomorrow is way more satisfying. I've learned that no matter what my personal situation is, there are people whose situations are worse and want to exchange places with me. I am still learning to accept and not be judgmental.

At April 22, 2011 at 7:42 AM , Blogger Kisses4Kaylee said...

It is a classic lesson from the novel To Kill a Mockingbird: "To really understand a person, you need to walk around in their shoes." Even when you think you understand what a person is thinking or feeling, the truth is that you don't-- there are always the 'unspoken' words and feelings behind the face that is presented to the rest of world. No one has the right to stand in judgment of another-- especially in times of pain or struggle. I also still believe very strongly in the golden rule: "Treat others as you would wish to be treated." It is amazing to me how many people seem to forget this simple adage from way up on their pedestal.


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