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Saturday, August 13, 2011

Making 40

Today, I wish I had asked my in-laws for advice.  But I know they wouldn’t give it to me.

They would be the first to say they had none. But I’m sure they do.

I mean…. 40 years of marriage – is quite an accomplishment.  How in the heck do you do that now a days?

Everyone says they want 40 / 50 / 60 years …. and yet so few people make it.

As a child of divorce, I often wonder what the stressor is that puts a marriage “beyond repair.”

And yet, they’ve never been there.  They’ve always mended.  It is so inspirational.

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I love this photo… Let me tell you what I see when I look here.  Nana – full of excitement and pure joy.  Pappy – a man who doesn’t often stand in a spotlight – contemplating every word. 
The Candle with 1 Corinthians 13.  Every word is lived by the couple that perseveres 40 years.
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The two tall ones symbolized my in-laws.  The Unity = their life together.  The large candles next to them = their 2 sons.  Then 9 grandchildren.  What an amazing love song.  (speaking of…)
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This photo says it all.  “This DO in REMEMBRANCE of ME” … Renewing their vows in the presence of God, their family, and their closest friends.
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All the grandkids – 1.  We could Photoshop her in – If only I knew how to Photoshop…
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Our family – Andrew is on the left.  This was directly before all crap broke loose and 2 year old craziness flipped into high gear.  They wanted down. They wanted up. They wanted to talk. They wanted to crawl under the pews to go reach Daddy.  *sigh*  I love my toddlers.
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I realized there were no pictures of Alexander in the last post.  Sometimes it is like none of them “turn out’.  Today his Aunt Laura captured his innocence several times.  My beautiful baby.

I want 40 years.  I want 40 years with my best friend.  I want to know that no matter what – we won’t ever walk away.  I actually want to see in the future – know we made 40 years – and then breathe a deep sigh of relief.
Instead I will work.  At marriage.  Because it takes a lot of love, a lot of work, and a lot of patience.

Let’s make an advice list.  What is one piece of advice you can offer for married couples – how to make it to 40 years.  Who knows… maybe my in-laws will offer that advice.

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posted by Kristen @ 9:56 PM   3 Comments

3 Comments:

At August 14, 2011 at 4:13 PM , Blogger Heather said...

This is beautiful. What a great legacy they are leaving for their family, and what a nice testament you've written about that legacy. Marriage is a lot of work, you're right about that. I don't have any advice though. We've made it twelve years, but I don't want to get too cocky. I consider us still on the receiving end of marriage advice!

 
At August 14, 2011 at 7:27 PM , Blogger Jen said...

Many blessings to your in laws, my their love and commitment to each other continue to grow.

It will be 31 for me and my hubby in September. One tip that stands out for me is to make time for each other no matter what.

Kids (and we had five) can put a strain on even the best relationship so no matter how tired we got we always made time for us.

That is SO important; the marital relationship needs to be nourished with some adult time away from the kids (if possible).

It worked for us!

 
At August 14, 2011 at 8:13 PM , Blogger Katina said...

Find out your spouse's love language and love them accordingly!!! Pray, pray and pray! I don't believe marriages that last are made from quitters! You gotta stick and stay when the grass looks greener on the other side. When the thought of going home makes you want to throw up. When you feel so underappreciated for all you do. When the very sound of their voice is like nails on a chalkboard. Crazy as that all sounds marriage is just like all those things sometimes and in-between their are moments when this other person is really there for you and all is right with the world!

I keep saying I am gonna write a book about marriage fo' real!! Thanks for visiting me!

 

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