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Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Crap, I’m Naomi

There are only 2 books in the Bible named after women, Ruth and Esther.  There are less than 200 named women discussed in the Bible.  Much of this is a cultural phenomenon; women weren’t considered equal during biblical times.  So when a woman is mentioned, by name, in the Bible – we should pay attention to the words surrounding her.  There is a reason this woman was held to such a high standard to make it into God’s Word.

strong-woman2
The book of Ruth was a favorite of my childhood Sunday School teacher.  We did several Bible studies on that book, but the eyes of a child sees things differently than the eyes of an adult.  As a child, I was a would-be-Ruth.  I would stand beside what was morally correct.  I would walk away from what I knew.  I would support the Naomis in my life.  I would eventually find my Boaz.  Ruth … her strength was what I envisioned myself holding.

Naomi – she was a broken woman.  How could someone give up on life?  Yes, life had dealt her hardships, but she just crumpled.  Naomi was weak.  Naomi was only in the Bible to help accentuate how strong Ruth was.  I would never be Naomi.

15 years later, I became Naomi.  Honestly, Ray became my Ruth. (yes… I know that Ruth is a woman and Ray is a man). But, before we dated, Ray barely went to church.  Our relationship also built his relationship with God.  When the chips crumpled at my feet and I was left with dreams unfilled – Raymond became the strength that held me up.  Ray provided for me when I could not provide for myself.  Raymond did not give up on God.  Raymond made sure we went to church every Sunday, when I could have skipped. 

In the book of Ruth – Chapter 1: 20-21 it says “Don’t call me Naomi,” she told them.  “Call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter.  I went away full, but the Lord has brought me back empty.  Why call me Naomi?  The Lord has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me.”

I will tell you this.  Those words could have come from my mouth.  Last summer, I specifically remember telling people, “Don’t say God has a plan.”  “Don’t tell me everything happens for a reason.”  I was a bitter person and angry at God.  All these dreams of being a strong Ruth were gone, and left in the wake was Naomi.  Raymond did whatever it took to make sure our family survived.  Raymond became a pillar of strength when I could not be.

I’m sharing this post because I’m going to write about that time… the summer of 2010.  As I write about my feelings, emotions, and actions – I really struggled with what to share.  Then I went to bible study.  The topic? Ruth.  I was excited to discuss this book I already knew so much about.  I was excited to offer my insights into Ruth.  Do you know who I had insight into?  Naomi. 

It was as if God was leading my heart to this point.  It is ok to share your story.  Naomi was not just a supporting character in Ruth’s journey.  Many more people can identify with Naomi than with Ruth.  Trust your heart.  Share your modern day reenactment of Naomi’s broken spirit.

So I will.  And I will link it back here so we can remember – God values all feelings: Strength and Weakness.

Tomorrow… the post of my heart.

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2 Comments:

At August 10, 2011 at 12:13 PM , Anonymous My Inner Chick said...

--I'm looking forward to hearing more of your story...
I always thought God had a plan...before this happened to my sister.
ALways.
I Always trusted Him, Loved Him.
But I don't understand why He would leave me on earth without Kay.
I identify with the 'broken women' of the bible.
..Because I am broken.
--K.

 
At August 10, 2011 at 3:19 PM , Blogger Kim said...

Great post! Looking forward to reading more . . .

 

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