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I know why I'm fat.....

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Sunday, July 31, 2011

I know why I'm fat.....

It's because I have kids.  And, no - not because I birthed 3 children in 18 months... because I have children right now.  And I love them.

Let's start with Alexander.  I'm fat because I love you.  Yes, I know people will say you are not sick on purpose.  I suppose it is possible that when you wake up in the middle of the night miserable that I could cuddle you "better" and then put you down on some reclining sleep positioner.  I suppose I could then sleep on the couch until you needed me again.  If I did that, then I wouldn't have needed the extra 2 sodas this morning and the tall stack of pancakes .. with extra syrup.  But, let's be honest.  I really needed to hold you You really needed me to hold you last night.  You needed me to rock you while you slept nuzzled against my neck.  I definitely did it for me you.  Please feel better so I can focus on dieting again. 

Andrew.  You are the reason I'm fat.  Because you are so stinking cute.  You are so cute that I had to explain to Vinnie (our favorite restaurant owner; who is also Greek; who is also bigger than our entire family put together) why you had to move seats - to sit next to his daughter - because she is your "girlfriend."  Yup, I'll take an extra order of fries with that.  And how am I supposed to explain to Vinnie about tonight? When we went to the birthday party?  You know I wasn't going to eat any cake or ice cream or chips.  But then you got yourself another girlfriend.  More chips over here please.  You are so stinking cute. I'm sure it is not technically your fault.  I mean, you are one of the three cutest kids I have ever seen.  I know all moms must think their kids are cute, but we all know the truth - you and your brother and sister are the cutest.  Hence - I'm struggling to lose weight.

Addison.  You are the final reason I'm not losing weight!  I would like to personally applaud your efforts to be a big helper.  Changing Andrew's poopy diaper during your nap time was genius.  I mean... who wants to sleep with a poopy diaper?  However, we normally use a changing table to minimize the mess.  We also use wipes - for the same reason.  And, around this house - we like to keep the poop inside the diaper. Just in case you were wondering.  How am I supposed to choose a salad over pizza when I am laughing so hard at your ingenuity?  I love you girl.  I love you so much.  And I love that some day you will no longer need diapers.  You will be wise enough to actually change a diaper without assistance.  So I will laugh at this (as I eat my slice of pizza) and remember that these times are fleeing. 

So.... reason's I'm fat:
1. Hugging and cuddling Alexander instead of sleeping
2. Worrying about Andrew and his extra suave moves for the ladies
3. Addison... you are the funniest person I know. I love you.

So, I will trade love, cuddles, funny moments, and happiness for my waistline.  Thank you for giving me those great gifts.  I'll work on my waistline next week.
Love, Mom

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4 Comments:

At August 1, 2011 at 3:23 PM , Blogger Angela Bowden said...

Cute kids cause fatness? That explains everything!! I'm going to start blaming my cellulite on my kid! Love the blog post!

http://ramblingsfromtheanimalfarm.blogspot.com/

 
At August 1, 2011 at 8:10 PM , Blogger Raven said...

hahaha this was awesome! and right out of my mouth! Darn it you kids! I swear, if they weren't so gorgeous and cute, I would give them back!

 
At August 2, 2011 at 11:50 PM , Blogger championm2000 said...

hahaha....I laughed while my heart melted.

I nominated you for a blog award:
http://mamemusings.blogspot.com/2011/08/hot-hot-hot.html

:-)

 
At August 10, 2011 at 7:46 PM , Blogger Meredith said...

Love this, so very much!!

 

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