I believe what we have here is A Failure To Communicate.

We have 9 therapies a week.
A babysitter.  A nurse for Alexander.
An entire Pediatrician’s staff that bends over backwards to do whatever we need.
Every Specialist ever invented involved in Alexander’s care.
People who watch the twins on a moment’s notice.
And then – of course – family and friends.

All of whom – we would like to show appreciation for this holiday season.

I got this great idea.  Let’s give Chocolate to our “Alexander” team.  We could go to that really nice candy store downtown and get boxes of candy for everyone.  We could get this huge platter of assorted chocolates for the Pediatrician’s office.  We would show everyone how much we love them…. in the way only Chocolate does.

Then I priced this endeavor. And decided to re-think my plans.  The homemade chocolate was going to cost us a fortune at $7.00 a pound.  And we love them more than a pound’s worth!  So I devised a little plan.

I sent my husband out on a mission.  Get boxes of Chocolates from Wal-Mart.  Also – get small gift bags or little boxes so we could “make our own.”  Everyone would assume they came from the expensive candy store.  And … well… that could be our little secret.

Husband went to Wal-Mart.  Mission Completed. 



My “Little Gift Bags”




Seriously?!?!!?!? These were the size of full on Gift Bags!!!  He said, “Well… they had bigger sizes, so I figured this is what you wanted.”





My “Candy”



CRAP!!!!! What credible candy stores sell pre-wrapped Santas! And Hershey Kisses and Candy Canes? These don’t look like GOURMETTE CHOCOLATES!



**Upon reflection**
1. You shouldn’t try to “scam” people on their Holiday gifts.  Especially chocolate.
2.  Apparently my husband and I really need to communicate better.

This post is the equivalent of a “Real World” Episode

Who ever invented the term “terrible twos?”

They are the Terrific Twos. … The real terror starts at age 3.

I beg them. I remind them. I time-out them. I take things away. I do every single positive / negative reinforcement / punishment known to man.  They still don’t listen.

They climb on everything. They talk back. They refuse to eat. (Unless it is a cupcake.)

They steal toys. They hit each other. They try to throw chairs in anger? (Seriously… where did they learn this stuff?)

Tonight, I was speaking to a friend. I asked her, “Have you ever talked to someone and walked away thinking – ‘they must be on drugs?’ … This is exactly what it is like to have a conversation with toddlers.”

Later, we decorated the Christmas Tree.  I had to give the twins a broken strand of lights to choke each other with play with.

They dug out everything break-able and said, “Should I drop this?” as I shouted, “NO!” every 3 seconds.
If an ornament had a movable part – they tried to move it.  If it didn’t have a movable part before… It probably does now.

I give that tree until approximately 7pm tomorrow night. Then I say that tree is on a pile on top of two silly children.

And yet…. they are so cute.

And these pictures are completely true.  And they are also part of our night.  They are also part of life with twin 3 year-olds.  In reality TV… photos and video clips are compiled to show people in a certain “light.”

Tonight… my kids were angels.  Just look…..




This right here is the “Twin Money Shot.” You never seem to be able to get them to hug.  (or even look at the camera at the same time.) Super proud of this picture!



Oh yes… and that is totally a small cheese “knife” in Addison’s hand on the big photo.  It was the only way I could get them to let me photograph them…. to let her hold a knife. *sigh* Mother of the year award… again.

Swimming in Sunshine

While walking this morning, I saw a man on a bike.  It struck me... because the bike was old fashioned - without the extra "speeds."  It also struck me because ... from my vantage point, that man looked carefree.

• I want to ride a bike.  With no hands.
• I want to swim in an ocean of clear blue water. And lay my head back on a pillow of soft waves.
• I want to wiggle my toes in the sand.
• I want to taste snowflakes on my tongue as I spin around in a circle.
• I want to sled down a hill.  With no hands.
• I want to ride in the back of a pick up truck on a bumpy dirt road.
• I want to take a nap on the green grass.
• I want to feel the raindrops on my eyelashes and know they are not tears.
• I want to belly flop from a high low diving board.
• I want to spend an hour looking at purses and shoes.  Without guilt.

I want to unfurl the ball of stress from my shoulders. 

I miss the simple pleasures of my childhood. 

I'm in love with my life now, but there are these times when I long for some youthful daydreams.

Today is one of those days.  I'm going to jot down my selfish daydreams and come back to them another day.  Today, I will go home and be mom, wife, co-worker, and friend. 

Today - I'm going to give myself permission to smile in remembrance of my youth and embrace the responsibilities of today.

Is there something you "want" to do?

Kristen FAQ

So here are the answers to some Frequently Asked Questions: 

1.  Are you having any more kids? None’Ya. As in None of your Business.  Don’t know. We’ll see.  Are you? Are you pregnant right now?  Why aren’t you?  How come you aren’t going to have any more? …hmmm – too personal?

2.  Were your twins “natural?” Nope. We just did it a lot. *sigh* I know… that answer is a little much – but so is the question.  I’m just going to go back to None’Ya.  Does it matter?  Does it make them less of twins? Or me less of a mom?  Who cares anyway?

3.  So…. does anyone else in your side or your husband’s side of the family have Alexander’s syndrome?  Yup. We all do.  Actually… we all have something worse – the ability to speak. Like you just did. Our genetics give us the insensitive bone that would allow for such a question.  Does it matter?  Does it make a difference?  I did it.  I have the magical power (that most of us associate with God’s divine miracles) to chop off part of a chromosome. 

4.  You talk about your weight struggles a lot.  How much do you weigh, anyway? (was really asked this within the last month).  I weigh somewhere between 112lbs and 1/2 a ton.  You can give an educated guess somewhere in there.  (As I punch them).

5.  How long do you expect Alexander to live? (A crazy lady asked me this) Longer than you.

6.  Which one of the twins do you like more? (Seriously used to get this all the time)  I like Andrew more. No wait! Addison more! No wait…. who just bad mouthed me? Because I like the other one more! How about I love them both… sort of equally?  Ever hear of that?

Honestly – I don’t think most people have malice in their hearts when they ask these questions.  I think people more or less are just curious and lack some tact. 

Here is what I think people want to know….

7.  How do you do it?  I drink a lot. (Kidding) And watch a lot of reality T.V.  My life doesn’t seem so bad when compared to Kim K’s 72 day marriage.  (Not Kidding)

8.  What is it like to have a child on a feeding pump?  Weird.  Totally weird.  Every night… when I mix up the bag and put him on the pump, I am surprised that I am doing it.  Almost like the first time.

9.  How do you manage attention for everyone?  The best way we know how.  We try to push past the fear of germs and hurting Alexander to encourage them to hug, kiss, play with him.  Pray … pray that they all know we love them.  Blog… blog my love into permanent ink.

10.  Are you ok?  Yes.  Thanks for asking. 

Thanks Mama Kat – for letting me link up today.
 

Epic Work Fail

I want to tell you a story.

When we had the twins, we were visited by a very sweet family friend. She brought the babies each a gift and she also brought me something. She brought me this t-shirt that said, “I love twins.” Well… the love is actually 2 hearts – but it is a super sweet t-shirt.

The shirt is awesome because the thought behind it – but truth is … it is not really something I wear on a regular basis.

This week was spirit week. Wednesday was “Wacky Wednesday.” I decided to wear the shirt because it was a little “fun.” I wanted to make sure people all knew I was “Wacky” – so I also put my hair in pigtails. As one added bonus – I put on a scarf. Finally… I was ready to show my school spirit in a “Wacky” way.

  

Apparently … this shirt has a double meaning.


I’m going to be completely honest here.

It NEVER even occurred to me.

Never Crossed My MIND.

Did I mention I teach high school students? Of course, none of the students actually pointed it out to me.


We are going to go with Epic Work Fail.

********************************************************************************************************

One more bit of Exciting News! I’m going to start a new linky on Monday.

I need something mindless on Monday – so let’s go for “Make Me Laugh Monday”

You know that picture you have? On your cell phone? Or the one you secretly want to snap – because of the ridiculousness that is occurring? Well – snap it. And post it.

1. You can post a picture you’ve taken and say nothing at all.
2. You can post a picture you’ve taken and tell the true story behind the picture. (Maybe the story is what makes the picture funny.) – like above…
3. You can post a picture you’ve taken and make up a story to explain the picture. (hey… the internet is full of lies – why not share one on this blog.)

*** Actually – some of the funniest times are when friends and I “create” conversations or identities for people we don’t know / can’t hear. Get down with it ***

I’m also open to suggestions on how to get more funny photos on the linky – so If you have an idea.. let me know. And… if you come up with a better name – pass that along too.

Monday. Funny Photo. Story or no Story. True or Not True. Only real rule is – the photo must be yours.

The Best of this Week

(Actually, the best of the last 2 weeks… but we will get into that later.)

Almost 2 weeks ago, on Monday, I wrote A Lot of little things add up to one Great Long Weekend.  I was a very picture heavy post about our combined 4 day weekend with the kids.  We did a ton of activities – with them separately and together.  I remember going back to work on Tuesday thinking… if only we could bottle this happiness….


But, something happened our last “weekend evening” that prompted me to write the Therapy Fund post later that week.  Raymond constantly tells me that, “I am the only person on the planet to have so many …. ahem … things happen to them.” Your comments “outing” your own mishaps did wonders for my self esteem. So thanks!

In preparation for my writing conference this weekend, I’ve been trying to flex my writing skills a little.  I’ve been using Mama Kat’s writing  prompts and I was really having a difficult time listing things I should never ask my spouse.  So, instead – I made 3 lists.  I was pretty proud of how it turned out…. So you can check it out HERE.

 

On Friday, I did my last “Friday’s Confession Booth.”  As we all know, the classic over achiever – I want to do something that is awesome.  And, while I liked the confessions – and I know others did… I don’t think it was the right prompt or time.  Writing every Wednesday and Thursday made Fridays a bit of a chore.  I’m coming back with something a little different – and probably earlier in the week.  Anyway, this post was about how the appreciation of people for all my hard work makes me feel.  It was 100% honest and I think sometimes our society is so wrapped up in what people are doing wrong, they forget to look for the right. 


Then we took the kids camping over the weekend.  I had this whole post planned out.  20 reasons we were getting an R.V.  It was an entire post dedicated to the mishaps and misadventures of camping with two year old twins.  We came home on Sunday, and I found out a dear friend passed away.  The post was no longer the post in my heart.  So I shelved it, and wrote THIS POST instead…. the one that said, “I love you.”  Hopefully, someday – before I forget all the funny things – I will be able to write the original post.

After bearing my soul about her death, I still was not ready to write about our LIVES.  I was really struggling with what to go next…. And the kids provided.  I have been saying I would capture Alexander laughing for awhile and that video of the twins having a complete conversation over the hammering of tent pegs is hilarious.  I wanted to capture those moments and they helped me to rebound from the grief.  You can see the videos HERE.

I was a little … a lot scared to go to the writing conference.  I didn’t feel at all prepared AND I had these visions of people going on to my blog for the first time ever to see this post with 2 videos.  I decided to tackle my nerves as I have been everything else… by blogging them away in Going to BlogHer’s Writing Conference.


And Finally, home.  I had a few minutes to jot down my thoughts from the conference.  I had a blast.  I want to go back.  I still want to do this.  I love you all for supporting me.  Thank you…

So that is the last week (or two) in a nutshell.  Can’t wait to write about the Twin’s Birthday and other happenings this week.

I’m going to start a “Therapy” fund… ‘Cause they are going to need it.

I’m going to pour my heart out. Ready? I love my life.  Most of the time.

Look at how well Alexander is standing! Can you see that my fingers are not touching him? Only my thumbs and ring fingers.  I wish I could get a picture of him standing somewhere other than the tub… but – what can I say? He likes to stand there.


Anyway, Our life… the good, the bad, the ugly… I don’t mind sharing it.  I hope people will read it, identify with us, offer us hope, and find hope from the resilience of my family.  However… Ray would be just fine with our life being private … kept just to us.  Sometimes I share too much.  This week, for PYHO, I thought I would tell you a purely fictional story.  Because, there is no way 2 – college educated parents of 3 could have so many “mishaps” in one evening.  No way.  We only make great parenting decisions… so please remember that that this post in no way represents the people or opinions of this blog.



Once upon a time there was this family.  For sake of argument, let’s call the dad Ray and the mom Kristen.  And pretend they have twins named… Andrew and Addison.  And, maybe they have another kid named Alexander.  (This will just help us keep the story strait.  No way implying the people in this story are real.)

This family decided to go camping very soon.  They made preparations. 


They had tents.



This family was known for “testing” things before the big event.  In fact, they practiced hunting Easter Eggs before Easter, Dressing up for Halloween, and other events were serious melt downs could occur.  The Daddy decided he and the twins should “practice” camping in the back yard to ensure no “freak outs” happened during our first big trip.



First…. the Daddy set up that small, baby sized tent.  The twins eagerly asked, “Is that our tent?”  Mommy thought, “well… maybe they are going to squeeze into that tiny tent so no one is scared.”






Then…. the Daddy set up the big, family sized tent.  The twins eagerly asked, “Is that our tent?”  Mommy thought, “Probably Ray is just vacuuming out those tents for while he is messing with the camping stuff.” 


When the Daddy came inside, the twins asked, “Daddy – what tent are WE sleeping in tonight?”  At this point, I’m pretty sure Ray was suffering from some concussion or something … because he answered, “You twins are sleeping in the small tent and I am going to sleep in the big tent.”

He wasn’t joking. Seriously. He thought the twins would be sleeping in one tent and we would sleep in the other.  Have I mentioned that in this “hypothetical” story the twins are not yet 3 years old?

The Mommy might have gone a little crazy.  She might have started yelling things about slasher movies and John Walsh and ….. it might have gotten a little out of hand.  In the end – the twins and the Daddy might have decided to sleep in the same big family tent.

 

*Crisis averted*

At this point, the Mommy probably decided to go visit a friend in the hospital.  She probably dropped Alexander off with his grandma and headed down to spend some time with one of her lifelong friends.  She might have gotten home (with Alexander) close to 10pm.  Let’s just say… 9:50.  She turned off the headlights as she pulled in the driveway as to not wake her sleeping family.  Only, when she opened her door… she heard twin giggles and the screams of WWF style body slams.  I’m not going to lie.  If this story were REAL … it was hilarious.  They would shout to each other, “No! Don’t get me!”  Followed by a body slam.  Apparently Ray blew up the air mattress for them and they thought it was like a wrestling ring.  The Mommy couldn’t help but laugh and laugh because they were so cute. 


The Mommy went in to put Alexander to bed and clean a bit in the house.  She couldn’t turn on any of the lights because she was afraid the light would shine into the tent.  So … she cleaned in the dark.  Just as she was putting the finishing touches on the kitchen, she realized she had several soda cans left on the counter.  The Mommy decided to be a “good wife” and throw those cans in the recycling bin outside.  As she crept out the door, she heard the blessed sound of silence.  She smiled at the thought of her sleeping babies.  She carefully placed those cans in the recycling bin and turned to go back inside.

When she realized she had locked herself out of the house.  Completely out.  No jiggling of the door fix.  No hidden key. 

And she realized she would have to go wake her sleeping husband (who…. due to her insistence was sleeping right next to the twins) to help her break back into the house.

*There are no pictures of this …*

I would like to end the story here…. for the sake of the “kids” and anyone else who is reading.  No one needs to know what happened after this – except - the hypothetical couple were happily in love the next morning.

Because I couldn’t resist – here are a few more cute pictures taken today of the real Andrew, Addison, and Andrew … and our beautiful life. (Under the guidance of great parenting.)



So…. have any “fictional” stories that would make you look like Parent of the Year?  Come on… make us all feel better.  Did you suggest letting your twin toddlers sleep alone at a campsite?  Did you wake your entire family at 10:30 because you locked yourself out of the house?  Spill it. 

Friday's Confession Booth: I’m a “Borrower”

Welcome to Friday's Confession Booth. To participate - you write a "Confession Post." It doesn't have to be serious, and you can read more about them HERE. Make sure you Enter the link-up below.  Then grab the button and place it in your post to link back and share with everyone's confessions.




<center><a href=”http://www.alittlesomethingforme.com” target=”_blank”><img border=”0″ alt=”A Little Something for ME” src=”<a href="http://s323.photobucket.com/albums/nn464/kstottlemyer/?action=view&current=confessionbooth1.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i323.photobucket.com/albums/nn464/kstottlemyer/confessionbooth1.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>"></a>“/></a></center>  
Here’s the thing. I borrow things.

I like that term better than “steal” – because… well, stealing is illegal and immoral.

I don’t mean to do it.  It’s not like I’m a kleptomaniac.  It’s not like I walk into a store and then walk out with unpaid things.

It is worse.

I “borrow” things from my family and friends.

And … never take the time to return them.

There.  You know my deep dark secret. 

These spoons?  They are my Aunt Mary’s.  She brought them to Thanksgiving dinner – at my old house – before I was married.  That means I’ve “borrowed” them for about 6 or 7 years.  I even took them to Christmas or Easter one year – but she didn’t show.  So, I still have them.  Aunt Mary – If you are reading this… I’m really sorry.

I have a TV (it is a 13 inch in my defense) that I “borrowed” from my Mom.  I actually tried to let my darling graduate borrow it when she left for college.. because she really needed it and my mom doesn’t anymore. (Does that make me a socialist thief?)


These hot pink velvet maternity sweat pants I’m wearing are “borrowed” from someone.  Truth – I don’t even know where I’ve borrowed them from. *sigh*  I just know that one day I woke up with hot pink velvet maternity sweat pants in my drawer and they are so comfortable… I’m wearing them right now as I type this.  Don’t believe me?  Check it out. 

I told you… I have no shame anymore.


Honestly – I could go on.  Outfits, CD’s (back when CD’s were cool), baking pans, jewelry, … the list never ends.

But, I swear, I’m not really a bad person.  I’m just forgetful.  Especially with other people’s things.


So. There you have it.  My deep dark secret.  Would you like to confess your secrets?

Just grab the button from the top to link back and enter the Link up.