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Wednesday, December 21, 2011

A One Year Anniversary

It has been almost a year.  2 days from now…. will be my blog’s one year anniversary. My little something for me.

It all started with a breakdown in an office room.  Like so many that have happened since.  One that nearly happened a few weeks ago.  I just needed something that could be all mine.

This blog has sort of taken a bit of a life of its own… but I’m still o.k. with that.

I remember when we first learned of Alexander’s diagnosis.  We wouldn’t tell anyone that he had WHS.  It wasn’t shame…. it was protection.  We didn’t want the “I’m sorry for you’s.”  We didn’t want people to Google all those horrible thing.  We didn’t want people to talk about us in whispered tones.  We actually wrote a letter to all of our family members and friends that told them not to call us or contact us – we just needed time.

Then I found the blogs.  Other mothers… writing.  Writing out their feelings.  Writing out their fears and everyday struggles. They also wrote about their triumphs.  It was private.  I could read… and no one would know.  I could learn and still be alone.  I still needed to be alone in this WHS world.  I read everyone’s story about when they found out.  I wanted to know how each and every person felt.  I looked at everyone’s pictures.  My baby looked perfect to me…. did theirs?  I looked at newborn photos, one month photos, …. I looked for milestones, for glimmers of hope.  I looked for understanding.  Because inside – I was still pretty devastated at how our life had changed on a dime.

December 23, 2010 was my first ever blog post.  My blog was originally going to be private because I was nervous.  I was worried about what my bosses would think of me writing on the internet.  I was worried that my students might find it. Parents of students might find it.  I was worried that my words might make me sound weak.  I worried it might make me look unprofessional.

 It didn’t take me long to realize that I was not ashamed of my feelings.  Everyone has them.  I wanted to help other parents the way people helped me… without even realizing it.

So, I’ve blogged. Through good times and bad.  Through seizures and milestones.  I’ve blogged about our family.  I’ve tried to remember that this WHS piece is only a piece of all the things that make us … US.

I’m really proud of what we’ve done here in the past year.
      
  • I connected with a lot of WHS families.  Some of my favorite posts are ones of encouragement and understanding to other parents.
  • I’ve learned to write about things totally unrelated to our crazy life.  And enjoy those moments.
  • I’ve become very introspective on the things that impact our life.
  • We’ve raised $14,000 to get Alexander a seizure dog.  And with seizures that last 5 or so hours, this blessing can’t come soon enough.
  • We’ve had the opportunity to give some of our blessings away. (I don’t want to take away from those gifts by announcing them… they weren’t for recognition – merely for giving.)
  • We’ve been the recipient of support.  So much support.  Prayers, prayers, and more prayers.
  • We won an IPad – which has already made a difference in Alexander.  He is already gaining fine motor skills and becoming very vocal. (tonight, I was going to take him off the couch where he was watching TV with Andrew and Addison and he open mouth YELLED at me.  When I let him sit back down, he stopped yelling. YAY!!!!)
  • I had the opportunity to travel to a book writing conference.
  • We were picked up by BlogHer and have been given some exposure by their sponsorship.
  • There is more.. I know there is more – but that’s all I have right now.

It is a pretty amazing list.  I’m pretty proud of that list.  It still is A Little Something for Me.  but… it is also a little something for a lot of people.  Our families to keep in touch.  Our friends to understand what we can’t always say.  The world to understand what life is really like.  Other parents of kids with WHS or any special need… of our realities.  I like this… Little Something.
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So here are a few of my favorite posts of the last year.  Happy Blogaversary to me.
Letter for My Children
PSA
Prayer of a Special Needs Mother
A Year with a Newborn
Life Lesson # 3 – Rubbernecking is not Nice
Because of Easter
Letter to Alexander
15.32
Pure Joy
Letter to a New Mother
Effexor, Self Awareness, and Maturity saved my life.
Al&Mom8742B&WThe Unexpected Pregnancy
Who will Love me for Me?
I’m not going to play nice
Real World

A lot can change in a year. But, one thing remains…  I’m still beyond blessed to have all that God has given us. 



Thanks MamaKat and Shell for the inspiration




Mama’s Losin’ It

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12 Comments:

At December 21, 2011 at 8:29 AM , Blogger jen@ living a full life said...

This bloggy world is better that you are in it.
Luv you my friend!

 
At December 21, 2011 at 9:03 AM , Blogger Shell said...

Happy Blogoversary!

I get what you are saying about not wanting to talk about it at first- I was very much like that with my son. I didn't want the sympathy and I didn't want the judgment.

 
At December 21, 2011 at 9:11 AM , Blogger Jackie said...

Happy Blogoversary!

I too felt the worry about who would read when I first starting writing, but with each post, each written confession or memory, I felt myself gaining confidence and pride.
I won't lie, all you have done in this one year on your blog is quite admirable!
I haven't checked in for a while, so congrats on the ipad for Alexander!

 
At December 21, 2011 at 9:19 AM , Blogger Tara R. said...

Congratulations on your first of many wonderful blogging years. I too have found the blogging community to be so encouraging and supportive. Keep up the great writing.

 
At December 21, 2011 at 10:52 AM , Blogger Di said...

Happy Blogaversary! I know I would be lost without my bloggy friends sometimes!

 
At December 21, 2011 at 11:01 AM , Anonymous Amy McCollister said...

I read all the posts and I have to say, you not only have a beautiful writing talent, you have an absolutely beautiful family. You're right, Alexander is perfect. I love your honesty and appreciate it.much. I work with developmentally disabled clients and know the joys of seeing progress (to an extent anyway).

 
At December 21, 2011 at 9:42 PM , Anonymous Jamie said...

Happy Blogoversary! I'm so glad you've found such a supportive outlet. Did you ever realize when you started it would grow to what it's become? =) I"m new to the blogosphere, but there are so many wonderful and supportive people out there! Thanks for sharing your post!

 
At December 22, 2011 at 6:55 AM , Blogger Jessica said...

Happy Blogoversary! And, I wish you many more successful years of blogging. I love blogging for allowing me to find communities that get me, communities of moms and dads just like me.

 
At December 22, 2011 at 9:38 AM , Blogger Elena @CiaoMom said...

Happy Blogoversary! This is such an honest and loving post. It tells of pain, love, and hope all in one foul swoop. It is amazing how this community, and the creation of these spaces for ourselves, can be so transformative in our lives. Wishing you many more blogoversaries.

 
At December 22, 2011 at 9:30 PM , Blogger Hilary said...

Happy Blogoversary!

 
At December 23, 2011 at 10:40 AM , Blogger Arnebya said...

I'm so glad to have found/connected with you this year, to bear witness to your struggles and happiness, and to see Alexander's great strides. Have a wonderful holiday and I hope 2012 is nothing but great.

 
At December 27, 2011 at 12:04 AM , Blogger Laura said...

Has it really been a year already? I have loved reading along with your family. It has meant we've missed you on the twin board, but your writing here is helping so many I guess it is worth it... :) Love you!

 

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