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Wednesday, December 14, 2011

White Elephant Gifts

Have you ever been to a white elephant party?  I went to ONE.  Once.  It was held directly after Christmas and everyone brought their “least” favorite gift.  Then they had a drawing and began playing games to see who ended up with the “White Elephant” gift.  Although the party was fun, I bought a prank present to take.  I really couldn’t (and still can’t) force myself to part with even the most ridiculous of gifts.

image

Which leads me to this post.  The gifts I should have re-gifted.  But haven’t … because I love that man.

Yes. Those of you who’ve been reading for awhile will know – that man – is my dad.
 
He’s got this weird sense of humor that makes every gift giving exchange an adventure.  This year I did tell him that if I got a crank gift I would put it on Craig’s List directly after Christmas.  How is that for the Christmas spirit? 

I’m sure you are dying to know what evidence I would publicly announce this with… allow me to elaborate.


1.  When I was 6 and my brother was 4 – my dad found a gun on sale.  The price was too good to pass up, so that year we got a 22 rifle to share.  Yup…. I said a 22.  How many 6 and 4 year olds do you know that could say they owned their own gun?  (A side note to this… probably the most disappointed my dad has been in me was when I refused to become a hunter with him.  Not because I’m opposed to meat – more opposed to cold and wet and silence.)

2.  When I was 11, my parents were newly divorced.  I really wanted colored jeans. (think early 90’s fashion).  I went to American Eagle – wrote down the sizes, styles, even the place in the store to find these jeans.  Little did I know that my dad shopped at 4am on Christmas eve morning.  American Eagle wasn’t open at that time… only Wal-Mart.  So – I got a sewing machine and a note that said to make my own jeans.

3.  Before I met Ray.  When I was single.  I repeat – completely single – my dad called me one day and said he wanted to buy me dishes.  As I was dirt poor and completely BROKE – I was pretty excited.  I told him to just grab them and he mentioned that I would have to see them first.  We ended up in an antique shop …. looking at Wedding China.  Did I mention that I was single?  No man… at all.  Anyway – he got the wedding china and put it away until I got married.  (He several times said he would “Will” it to me if necessary.)

P8060379


4.  A few years ago I got full sized silverware – on a keychain. Enough said.  (yes… that is a real photo of said dinnerware.  I attached it to keys to show size scale.)


5.  And finally… last year I got a light for Christmas.  A flash light.  It attaches to your hat.  Like – clips on.  Once again enough said.

My advice to everyone reading this blog – go ask your loved one for a Christmas list.  Or they will end up with a personal blog and look like a spoiled brat when they say they have a hard time finding places to use full sized silverware on a keychain.

But I love that man.  And I have those gifts.  No kidding. 

Thanks Shell… for letting me Pour My Heart Out. 

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15 Comments:

At December 14, 2011 at 7:55 AM , Blogger Jackie said...

Do you return the favor and purchase your father ridiculous gifts? I believe that is the way to go now!! Where does one even find a keychain made with real sized silverware & for what purpose?

 
At December 14, 2011 at 8:32 AM , Blogger Tara R. said...

Your dad sounds like a real hoot. Too funny. Maybe you could re-gift those presents back to your dad, making it a new holiday tradition.

 
At December 14, 2011 at 8:45 AM , Anonymous Kate F. (@katefineske) said...

Oh, my goodness! Those are some funny gifts :) And they sure did make a funny story to share! Love it.

 
At December 14, 2011 at 9:01 AM , Blogger Shell said...

Oh, I'm cracking up!

One year, my dad got all of us ice scrapers for our cars. Yup, that was it.

And then another year(the first year my husband was there with us and he brings this up all the time while he practically pees himself laughing): my dad got my younger brother a box of Captain Crunch and this HUGE bowl. Like a gigantic mixing bowl. Oh, and a big spoon. My brother was 22 and so not amused.

 
At December 14, 2011 at 11:51 AM , Blogger Sara said...

Too funny! My dad & I take turns gifting the game Perfection, we have hated that game since I was little!

 
At December 14, 2011 at 11:59 AM , Blogger Carolyn said...

This post made me smile. I love that you've kept the gifts.

 
At December 14, 2011 at 12:46 PM , Blogger Hilary said...

I want to meet this man. I love it!!!

 
At December 14, 2011 at 1:53 PM , Blogger Tiffany said...

Bwahahaha! Your dad sounds so funny and he certainly sounds kind of practical.
Sounds like you should regift to him, just for laughs.

 
At December 14, 2011 at 1:53 PM , Blogger Anastasia said...

My dad got me a 357 one year. So I hear you!

 
At December 14, 2011 at 2:10 PM , Blogger JDaniel4's Mom said...

My dad does the same thing. He gave my husband turtle slippers for Christmas one year. He thought they were cute.

 
At December 14, 2011 at 2:58 PM , Blogger championm2000 said...

LMAO! I am so impressed that your dad buys gifts period. If it were not for my mom, there would nothing under the tree. Shoot, I love my dad, but he might even forget what day it was altogether! Bless his heart.

I did have a boyfriend one time who gave me a fire extinguisher. No, it was not some off-handed reference to his bedroom skills or my cooking abilities. He was a control freak who realized I didn't have one, and well, that just was not acceptable.

 
At December 15, 2011 at 1:07 AM , Blogger Infertile Mormon Mommy said...

That to too funny! I can't wait to hear what he gets you this year! :)

 
At December 15, 2011 at 1:33 PM , Blogger Kristina Clemens said...

Those parties are so fun! You never know what will happen! =)
Kristina J.

 
At December 15, 2011 at 8:58 PM , Blogger Adrienne said...

Bahahahaha!!! This is hilarious! #2 is the best.

 
At December 20, 2011 at 11:10 AM , Blogger Arnebya said...

I don't think I could laugh any harder today; thank you. Full sized silverware. And willing you the china; I am cracking up. I HATE white elephant parties (and I so want to know the significance of the elephant to the exchange!). We had a Christmas luncheon at work last week and I opted not to participate in the exchange and I'm glad I didn't. It turned extremely ugly (we're all adults, mind you!). But once someone swiped the wine it was on. It was entertaining, though, I'll give them that.

 

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