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Saturday, December 3, 2011

Is a Man Good Enough?

I was at a holiday get together a few weeks ago.  I overheard a conversation / debate between several moms.  Eventually, I was also asked my opinion because it seemed everyone had differing views. 

Turns out… I’m not really sure. Not only that, but the response that came out of my mouth surprised even myself.  Ready for the question that sparked this debate?

We live in a small town.  Many of the daycares are church run and often they have several people on staff, but only one or two in a “classroom” at a time.  Depending on what you “officially” call yourself (daycare, etc) places can still have rooms staffed with one person…. similarly to a babysitting service. 

One of my friends was talking about sending her child to a church based daycare.  It is staffed by a husband and wife team – that she knows well.  Her daughter would be in the “class” run by the man.  Enter spirited debate.

Would you allow your child to be watched by a man?  As in … full time daycare?

I was so unprepared for the host of responses. Completely unprepared for the vehement in some people’s convictions.  Blindsided by the secrets hidden by close friends that were brought to light during this discussion.  The heart breaking stories that apparently touch way more people than this naïve girl ever dreamed. 

My response?  “Is your daughter potty trained?”  The response I couldn’t believe I said.  I was discriminating against men also.  I was then asked to give a strait forward “vote.”  I said, “I know a lot of men… who are amazing.  I don’t know that it would have crossed my mind to be concerned.”  Truth – I think it might have crossed my mind to be concerned….

So…. What would you do?  Would you send your child to a childcare provider run by a man?  Would it make a difference if you had a son or daughter?  Would you hire a teenage guy to babysit?  Does any of this make a difference?  Should it?

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posted by Kristen @ 3:11 PM   5 Comments

5 Comments:

At December 3, 2011 at 5:02 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

My husband worked in daycare for a little while, he's now a youth worker. When he was in the babies room one mum refused to let him change her child's nappy just because he was male. I thought that was quite sad. To put all men in the category of child abusers. our children are surrounded by so many female teachers throughout their school life, I think it's great when they get some male input. I was also shocked by a conversation recently when another mum said she wouldn't let her daughter have a play date at a friends house if only dad was home and mum at work, she always checked.
-barb

 
At December 4, 2011 at 9:29 AM , Blogger LB said...

Gosh, that is a tough one. I'd like to think that I'd be ok with it, but I just don't know. While my husband changed more diapers than I did when my kids were young, he is uncomfortable changing the diaper or helping another little girl with the potty. And I think he would definitely not allow another man to touch my daughter. Hmmm... It is sad that this world has come to that.

 
At December 4, 2011 at 10:42 AM , Blogger Shell said...

I'll have to admit that I think I'd have to know the man/boy well to be okay with it... where I probably wouldn't question a woman as much. I never thought about that- but that is my gut reaction.

 
At December 5, 2011 at 9:03 PM , Anonymous Rachel J. said...

My son's teacher in his 2.5 - 3 class was male and he was wonderful.

I serve on the board of my son's school and we recently had a woman from an inner city childcare academy come and talk to us about her program and why it's so successful. She made a few suggestions, but one that she repeated several times was the importance of having a male on the staff, particularly for her inner-city demographic.

 
At December 18, 2011 at 2:39 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ever since I read the book, "Every Man's Battle," I am completely freaked out. Men's minds are strong. They are visual. And, yes, without us even knowing it, some men's minds are sick. I wouldn't trust my kids with a male care provider. Not only because of sexual temptations, but because men's minds work differently--most cannot multi-task like women can. They are not as nurturing as women. If you want a male influence in your child's life, let that happen within your family (but still be careful).
Would I hire a teenaged boy babysitter? Not on your life. They are still figuring themselves out...I can't trust them because they don't even have a history for me to trust! They can't even trust themselves yet!

(By the way, I am jaded because my youth pastor is now in jail, after sexually molesting my peers. AND, after 34 years of thinking my Dad was perfect, I find out he is ADDICTED to porn. So I have strong feelings about this for a reason.)

 

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