Older Children can be Scary

I remember our first Wolf Hirschhorn get together.  It was at Chrissy’s house and there were about 10 families there… all with kids.  None of the children talked.  None of the children walked.  All the moms smiled.  It was as if I had stepped into this strange parallel world.  Some of my most dreaded fears were TRUE and exposed.. right here in this room – and no one cared!  Alexander was only 6 weeks old and I was petrified.  I loved the smiling faces of the children and the warm embraces of the mothers… but look at all of those things their kids aren’t doing!

Since that meeting, those women have become some of my closest friends.  Two of those children have started to walk and talk, and the other children are moving through milestones at their own pace.  I speak with their moms, so I now think of them like I think of Alexander – with pride in the strength of character, not with pride for the achievements accomplished.

This picture was taken at the 2010 National Conference.  It is the youngest children… Alexander was THE youngest.
So why do those older children seem so scary?  Why is it that I have a mini panic attack when I look at pictures of children from other get-togethers?  I think I have figured it out…
When I think about Alexander and our other friends that I know – I think of all he is almost ready to do.  For example, “he is getting better at sitting unassisted.”  “He is eating better.”  “He is almost…..” 

When I see pictures of children I don’t know – with names I can’t place… I think, “Wow.  They still aren’t doing _____.”  “Wow.  They still aren’t walking.”  Will that be Alexander?  “Wow.  They still aren’t sitting.”  Will that be Alexander?

I’m writing this post because I want to be honest.  I still have fears and doubts. There are still areas of acceptance I struggle with. I realize this post may offend some of the people I want to have in my life. Please understand… I know that Alexander will age… and some time  - some new mother is going to have the same questions.  I mean no disrespect. I think there are many people in my life who find Alexander scary.  It is part of life. 

There have been a few of my blog posts that have been featured on www.wolfhirschhorn.org.  And some people have reached out and said how much some of those posts have affected them.  I guess I just feel a need to come clean.  Not everything in my world is 100% sorted out.  Sometimes I still struggle.  This is one area in particular I struggle with.  Changing my thinking from “Older children who still aren’t – to – Older children who almost are.”

I think it is ok.  It is ok to still have fears.  It is ok to face those fears.  But I really need to find a way to stop attaching limitations on children I don’t know.