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Monday, April 25, 2011

Letter to Alexander

Dear Alexander,

You are my baby.  Literally and figuratively. You are not yet a year old and not yet 10lbs.  You are my savior.  Your birth cracked a relationship I thought was so firm – it would never be shaken.  And yet… I questioned why God would not grant my one wish – a healthy baby. 

But he gave me something better.  A perfect baby. You.  



This past year has been filled with changes.  Our family has grown, my heart was broken, my faith was shaken, and slowly… rebuilt.  Because of you.  Because your sweet face healed my broken heart, restored my faith, and saved me.  That is right. You saved me.



If Addison and Andrew made me a Mommy, you are teaching me how to be a person.  You are making me realize what is important in this world.  You are teaching me patience.  You are teaching me complete and unconditional love. You are making me the Mommy I always wanted to be.


You are a fighter.  You rarely cry – even when people are poking and prodding at you.  You smile and laugh and coo… even in a hospital bed.  You defied the doctors.  You do eat, you sit, you stand (in a stander) …. But more importantly – you love.



No one can understand the pure joy it is when a child that was declared “unworthy of life” reaches up and strokes your face.  When he looks at you and smiles.  As I watch you sleep, my heart fills up with love.  I want to spend every waking moment with you – just to touch you and hold on to the precious moment.



You already know how to deceive (a little trick you learned from your sister.)  When the therapists come and you don’t feel like working – you fake sleep.  It is the most unbelievable thing…. You can fake sleep, complete with snoring, until the therapist leaves and then you are wide-awake again.  You do the same thing when you don’t feel like eating…. Except when I point it out you start to smile in your sleep. 



You are an angel here on earth.  You were the ultimate gift to our lives.  You show us that a life is not measured by what you do or how fast you do it, but by your ability to open a heart.  Not only has my heart been opened, but you have also opened the hearts of everyone you meet.

Love, Mommy

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2 Comments:

At April 26, 2011 at 6:59 PM , Blogger Kisses4Kaylee said...

This is a touching and beautiful post! xo

 
At September 6, 2011 at 11:19 PM , Anonymous Two Makes Four said...

Thank you for this post.

 

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