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Friends Forever? Really?

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Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Friends Forever? Really?

This idea has been floating around in my mind for days.  This concept of "best of friends."  I have so much to say on the topic, I find it hard to know where to start.

Would it seem weird if I told you that some of my "best of friends" were people I've known less than a year?  I know this because of Alexander's birthday.... and some of my "best of friends" are fellow WHS moms.  They truly know what I'm going through... and they really get it - without all the pity.

Would it seem weird if I told you that some of my "best of friends" were people I've never met?  When I was pregnant with Andrew and Addison, I became friends with other twin moms through the internet.  At first - it was similar to my WHS friends.... they understood when I talked about my kankles and terrible gas. (listen... when you are pregnant with twins - it happens).  Then it was this great way for me to completely honest. I could share my weight and no one would know better because - we've never met.  Then they became my confidants. We share pictures, successes, heartaches, and I've met some of them.  They are my rocks.  I remember being on Magnesium and ready to deliver the twins - and sending e-mails back and fourth.  They were the first people I told about Alexander. (There are so many of them... it was really hard not to put a picture of every single one of them!)

Would it seem weird if I told you some of my "best of friends" are relatives of mine?  A few of my cousins are in my top 10 dialing circle.  One of my cousins was barely in my life while we were growing up... but now, I literally can't imagine life without her.  She probably gets 3-4 phone calls a week from me... for no reason at all.

(I've known her my entire life... you would think I could find a better picture!)
Would it seem weird if I told you some of my "best of friends" are people I don't talk to for weeks at a time?  Sometimes months at a time?  We are all busy.... and I know they will be there for me no matter what.  And when times are tough... I would move the ends of the Earth to be there for them.

Would it seem weird to you if I told you that I miss some of my former "best of friends"?  A friend from forever and I parted ways.  We were such friends from forever, people who knew us still ask how the other one is.  It makes me sad... but it is part of life.

~I guess what I'm thinking about is ~ maybe I have too many friends. ~  

Ok. Not too many friends, but I feel like I am not a good friend to many.  I feel like I am the benefactor of so many wonderful people, but I don't have time to reciprocate.  As I sat at Alexander's birthday party and visited with friends from all these walks of life, I felt overwhelmed with emotion from people who give so much to us with so little in return.  

I actually hate the term "Best Friends" .... because the best implies there will never be one better.  This is the best cheesecake I have or will ever have eaten.  Really? I like the phrase "best of friends" because I believe friends can be fluid.... usually finding you at just the time that friendship is needed.  Some friends stay, some go, and some come and go in shifts.... but that does not diminish their importance or the magnitude of their influence at that time in life.

But that doesn't mean that I don't have one .... a "Best Friend" ... who is always there. never judgemental. beautiful ~ inside and out.  Who drove 4 hours while she was 8 1/2 months pregnant to attend Alexander's birthday. I always need you.  Sometimes, I need you more than others, but you are always in my heart.

I think many of us have similar dynamics... work friends, social friends, friends with kids, single friends, etc.  People who wander in and out of our inner social circle based on need and shared experiences.  That is the beauty of friendships... they are flexible.   
The good ones remain through thick and thin.


At May 10, 2011 at 11:19 PM , Blogger Amy said...

I love this! I have friends from high school that I've reconnected with through facebook...I have my local mom true "online friends" that I met in a chat room in 1997, back before it was "cool" to talk to people divorced goes on and on. There are very few who have been there through thick and thin. And I have different ones that I can talk to about different things.

I don't think we can ever have too many friends.

PS - on a side note - you must live close to where I grew up if you were at Hburg Hospital. ;)


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