I feel trapped.

This was a comment made this morning. By someone with a label. That broke my heart.

I wasn’t going to write this post.  It is in answer to a question about labeling. (Ok… I was debating about doing this writing prompt because I am trying to flex my “writing” muscles a little.)  But, I am in the middle of a picture heavy, happy fall post.  I suppose I was toying with the idea because I had words floating in my head, “what does labeling mean?” “is it fair?” do I support labeling?”

And then… a conversation that hit a little too close to home.  “I feel trapped,’ can you imagine?”  yes… I can.

Here were my original thoughts:

Labeling is essential in life.  As a teacher, there is no way I can appropriately teach you if I don’t know what “level” you are on.  Can you read? Do you need a big challenge?  How can I push you?  What are your interests?  How can I engage you?  How can I relate to you?  Everyone is different, but – grouping people into “sort of boxes” gives me the advantage of reaching people at the level they are. 

Example:  If you put William Hung in the same music class as Jackie Evancho, everyone might get frustrated.



Yes, inevitably everyone gets labeled.  The nice thing about our society is that we don’t live in a caste system.  You can move freely in and out of your label.  Athletic, musical, intellectual, social – you can be all at once or move into and out of your labels.

That would have been the gist of my post.  That would have been the stand I took.  My head still says… “We need labels! They are a necessary ‘evil’ in life!”  But my heart weighs in heavier on this one.

I Feel Trapped.

Mother, Father, Sister, Brother, Teacher, Administrator, Coach, Student, Child…. it could have been anyone.

Andrew. Addison. Alexander.

Alexander’s eyes say, “I feel trapped.”  I know he is cognitively aware of what is going around him.  He laughs.  He plays peek – a – boo.  He wants to do things that his body just will not allow him to do.  When I look into his soul… it says, “please, don’t let me stay trapped forever.” 



What if we would have listened to the doctors when he was born? What if that label would have defined him?  What if others let that label define him? What if someday we are not around to look into his soul and fight to release him?  I hate every label attached to him.  I hate the words “Mentally Retarded.”  I hate the words delayed.  All the while my teacher – self says those labels are necessary to get him the assistance he needs, my “mommy-self” screams those labels do not define my child.

Andrew and Addison.  They are the the siblings of a child with a severe disability.  They are close in age.  Where ever Alexander goes, they will also go.  And vice – versa.  I pray that they can stay together.  I pray that they support each other.  I pray they don’t have resentment for the things they have to or can’t do because of their circumstances.  Please… just let them love and support each other.

What if Alexander’s labels harm their feelings of self worth?  What if the labels that come with them change their feelings of self worth?  How can I prevent that?  How can I prevent them from slipping into a caste system where they can never overcome a label?

In life, I am a Mommy first.  I am their Mommy first.  I have some real concerns about the labels that are now innately attached to them.  I am afraid those labels could be so life defining that they won’t be able to attach themselves to other labels.

I’m linking up today with Mama Kat – and her writing inspirations.

Oh - And don't forget to link up tomorrow if you're "Confessing!"




So what do you think?  Labels a good thing?  A necessary evil?  Or – all together wrong?