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Friday, September 23, 2011

It’s Just a Pipe Dream

I’m going to a writing conference.  BlogHer is partnering with Penguin Publishing and they are sponsoring this writer’s workshop.  I’m thrilled.  I’m petrified.  I’m both…. 

I want to be a teacher.  I want to write.  I want to do both….

I want… wow – I can’t remember when I have so vehemently wanted something so badly.

I want someone to say, “You can do it.”  And… although my friends and supporters cheer me on … I really want to know if a professional thinks I have any shot.

Confession… I have never done anything that I wasn’t good at.  If it was something that I wasn’t going to be able to do well – I just wouldn’t do it. 
I wasn’t going to go.  I was going to dream about going, make some excuse about leaving the kids and Ray, yada yada yada… and not go.  The real reason I wasn’t going to go was – what if they don’t like me?

Then a good friend asked me, “How many signs do you need that you should pursue this dream?”
Five minutes later, another good friend said, “I really think you should take those Letters to your students and write a book…. and my wife loves your blog.”
And finally… 10 minutes before school let out, a few students were reading my latest “letter” and said, “I think you should write a book.”

Huh? Really?

I came home. Talked to Ray before I could talk myself out of it. And paid the registration fee. I’m going.

I feel like the girl who goes to the party alone…. Please let them like me. (Oh wait – I am going alone.)

Maybe it will be amazing. Maybe they will tell me that I have a story people would like to read.  Maybe they will give me a signing bonus and tell me to write.  It is those maybe’s that I am excited for.

Maybe all the spelling, grammar, and writing errors will be pointed out.  Maybe they will tell me I have to commit more time to this blog.  Maybe they will tell me to come back when I’m a little more polished.  It is those maybe’s that I am scared I will hear.

I’m going to draw inspiration from my children.  They are amazing.  They never complain.  They are fearless.
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Once again… my babies have inspired me to stretch, go, try.  My blessings overflow.

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6 Comments:

At September 23, 2011 at 9:15 PM , Blogger Eric, Erin, Elsie and Emmy said...

Don't let the negative maybes keep you away! I am so glad that you are going. And if you want an editor to talk to, let me know. One of Eric's best friends is a Christian editor and I am sure would be at least a great resource for you!!! Again, I am SO glad you are going!

 
At September 23, 2011 at 9:55 PM , Blogger justin and marsi said...

I'm sure it will be an amazing time! When is it? Can't wait to hear all about it after the fact. I'm sure you will be so glad you went out on this limb! You are amazing!

 
At September 23, 2011 at 10:21 PM , Blogger Meredith said...

Those maybe's that you are afraid of... they aren't NO's!
They are STEPPING stones.

Do you EVER tell your students that feedback is a bad thing?

Probably not....

Kristen--
You HAVE a story.
You portray that story BEAUTIFULLY.
And you are going to step out in faith, and see what happens.

Remember... the Journey IS the lesson.
:)

(and focus on that whole FAITH thing.)

 
At September 24, 2011 at 3:13 PM , Blogger jen@its all about me said...

You go for it Sista you're an amazing woman!

 
At September 24, 2011 at 3:32 PM , Blogger championm2000 said...

Go for it!

I love your writing already!

 
At September 25, 2011 at 3:05 PM , Blogger Hilary said...

The fact that you recognize the negative maybes and you can admit you are worried about them is what makes you an incredible teacher. You can relate to your students. The fear of rejection, both socially and academically, that students face everyday are still around in adulthood. I think some teachers forget how it feels to be a student and have those worries.

You are a wonderful teacher and an amazing writer! They will love you and your writing!

 

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