Oh Honey… Really?

I had a terrible time writing to this prompt.  SO… if you start reading – you have to read to the end.  Due to my issues, I decided to write several lists.

 

A List of 10 Things you should never Ask your Spouse –  (If your spouse was my Dad … because … well – read some posts about my Dad if you don’t understand.)

 

1.  Why are you bleeding from your arm / hand / leg / foot / forehead?  (or any other body part.)

2.  At what point does the yard go from being a “lawn” to being a “field?”  Are you going to mow the “field?”

3.  Would you help me fix my car? (Stories after stories to back this one up.)

4.  Why are you walking outside with a can of gasoline and a lighter?  You know there are other ways to burn things… right?

5.  What is your newest hobby? (Wine making, Beer Making, Sausage Making, Auto Garage, Auto Body Garage, Small Farm, Woodworking, Sawmilling, Gun collecting, Hunting, ….. are you getting the picture?)

6.  How would you solve this problem? (Answer will usually lead you back to #1.)

7.  You do know that playing chess, scrabble, monopoly, etc. with a 5 year old doesn’t necessarily mean you won, right?

8.  Is there a reason your car is not registered, inspected, and / or running?

9.  How many things “just outside the law” have you committed this week?  That is … not things that would get you sent up state… but maybe a citation.

10. What are you planning on doing with my kids this week?  (Because I really don’t want to know.)

 

Then you have 10 things you should never ask your spouse… if you were a normal person.

1.  What happened to all the hair on the back of your head?

2.  When was the last time you plucked your nose / ear hairs?

3.  Do you know how to use a vacuum cleaner?

4.  What age do you think you are?  You do realize … you are older than our kids, right?

5.  Have you considered doing a load of laundry this century?  Without using Bleach?

6. Do you realize you are not allergic to dish detergent?

7.  Did you know the world will not end if you fold a load of laundry?

8.  Will there ever be a day when you can be left alone with the kids for longer than 10 minutes?

9.  What the heck is wrong with you?

10.  How did you get so lucky to marry me?

 

The reason I had such a problem writing the list… is because Ray does a lot.  I mean… A Lot.  I have a high stress job and am usually the one on the first line of defense for our children's’ needs.  So Ray picks up the things at home.

 

Top 10 things I would Never ask MY Spouse:

 

1.  Why haven’t you cleaned lately? (usually because he has.)

2.  Really?  You didn’t think to start dinner?  (Lately – he’s been doing that too.)

3.  How come you don’t go to the gym anymore to “keep up” like you did when we were first together? (Because he spends his extra time taking care of us.)

4.  You don’t know how to use the washer?  (Except for that one Bleach incident – he’s stellar in that area too.)

5.  Why can’t you spend more time with your kids? (I think we’ve already proven this to be fact.)

6.  Would you please find a better job to take care of us? (um… great job. takes great care of us.)

7.  Could you please, for once, take the kids to the sitter or pick them up? (he does this every day.)

8.  Every once in a while, could you go to the grocery store? (sometimes he does.)

9.  Do you know what an iron is?  (oh yeah – he does.  And he does all of our ironing.)

10.  Why don’t you love us enough? (It is never an issue or a word that crosses my mouth)

                                         

I’m linking up with Mama Kat … – so thanks for giving me a chance to tell my husband how much I appreciate him.