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Thursday, October 6, 2011

Who will Love me for me?

This song is my song. This song is the song of my heart, my children, my students…

Here is the song.  You can find the lyrics at the bottom of the page, but for now – I’m going to explain how this song has become the song of my soul.

I believe in “late in life” marriage.  If asked honestly – I would tell you that I am fairly against teen marriage.  I would encourage people to sew a couple of wild oats and give themselves a chance to mature before settling down.  A teenager changes so much into early adulthood.  The process of maturing and “finding your real self” should be crossed without boundaries.  And then… when you know who you are – find someone who will Love You for You. 

blog header photo
What happens when a huge life changing even happens late in life?  What happens when your life is thrown off the tracks and your entire person changes?  Your priorities shift?  Your needs shift?  What is you were one person and… suddenly became someone else?  I’m thankful that Ray is along for the ride, but I can’t help but empathize with a man who married one woman and ended up married to someone else.  The birth of Alexander has sort of changed everything.  It changed me.  It has opened my heart to other priorities.  It has opened our lives in this blog.  Ray is a private man.  I am blogging our lives away.  Who will love me for me? The answer is still Ray – but the question is who am I?  Every time I think I know… the winds shift, another opportunity arises or drifts away, and me is different.  It would be so much easier if me was the old me.   Who am I now?  and then… Who will still love me for me?  Not for what I have done or who I will become?

This is the song of my children also.  Alexander… who has his own needs.  Who will love him for him?  Not for what he has done or what he will become?
Andrew… who is a “twin” and a year older than Alexander.  Who will see him for him?  Not for what he has done or what he will become….
Addison… the other half of Andrew.  The other “twin.”  Who will see her for her?  Not for what she has done or what she will become…

I believe this is the song of every mother to their children.  You worry… You want people to love your children for all those beautiful qualities that make them unique.  You want people to see them as individuals.  You want people to see your children for them…. Not for what they’ve become or what they will become.

And finally … this is my song for my students.  Here is the letter I wrote to them this week.
You don’t need to date someone to be someone.  Your qualities are not based on other’s perceptions of you.  Be yourself.  Give people a chance to love you for you… not for what you have done or who you will become…

I love that at the end of the song J.J.Heller reminds us that no matter what – God will love us for ourselves.  A beautiful message.
Here are the lyrics….
He cries in the corner where nobody sees
He’s the kid with the story no one would believe
He prays every night, “Dear God won’t you please…
Could you send someone here who will love me?”

Who will love me for me
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me
‘Cause nobody has shown me what love
What love really means, what love really means

Her office is shrinking a little each day
She’s the woman whose husband has run away
She’ll go to the gym after working today
Maybe if she was thinner then he would’ve stayed
And she says…

Who’ll love me for me?
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me?

‘Cause nobody has shown me what love
What love really means, what love really means

He’s waiting to die as he sits all alone
He’s a man in a cell who regrets what he’s done
He utters a cry from the depths of his soul
“Oh Lord, forgive me, I want to go home”

Then he heard a voice somewhere deep inside
And it said, “I know you’ve murdered
And I know you’ve lied
And I have watched you suffer all of your life
And now that you’ll listen, I’ll tell you that I…”

I will love you for you
Not for what you have done or what you will become
I will love you for you

  Mama’s Losin’ It
So what do you think of the song?  What is the “Song of your life?”  This was the question asked by Mama Kat.

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At October 6, 2011 at 9:01 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

This really is a beautiful song. Thanks for sharing. I know what you mean about wondering if the person who started loving you will love you through changes. That's something I think about a lot since I did marry young. It'll be an adventure for sure.
Oh, and I love that you're so honest with your students. I'm sure you've made at least one of them reconsider a relationship.

At October 6, 2011 at 10:24 AM , Blogger Krista @ Not Mommy of the Year said...

That makes be sob.

PS. I love the notes to your students. That's such an awesome thing.

At October 6, 2011 at 11:00 AM , Anonymous A Mother's Thoughts said...

Beautiful song! It's hard to teach young people about their own God given talents and purpose. They are so busy living for the moment and current emotion that they sometimes forget their worth. Great post!


At October 6, 2011 at 3:56 PM , Blogger Kristin @ What She Said said...

What a gorgeous song. The final verse is especially powerful.

I also love the note to your students. Teenagers are so reckless and impetuous and fragile... they NEED to be reminded of their self-worth often.

At October 7, 2011 at 12:57 AM , Anonymous Kristi said...

Love, love, love the song!! I also was touched by your words. It is a mother's prayer that someone will love her child just as they are...not for what they have done or who they will become.
I'm a teacher also...we definitly have some similarities. :) I think your message to your students is powerful...I need to share that with my teenage children.
Thank you for writing such a beautiful post and sharing your song. Also, thank you for following me. I'm following you back and looking forward to reading more of you.


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